So I'm getting kicked out of her life now. Go me. I still suck and will never be enough to keep her happy.

Okay

So much for that. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh a way.

Perfection

I'm afraid Rachel will be leaving me soon. I never seem to be enough for anyone. Nobody will accept me for my faults. Faith in me in waning. But what am I to do? I will never be perfect.

Damn

I feel really down and alone again. I miss and need Rachel.

Cure?

Despite of being exhausted, I am doing really well. I think/hope this will stick with me forever. Maybe I found my cure within myself.

Love

Today's bike ride back from counseling was better than any counseling I could ever get. I had my epiphany, my nirvana, my life's work. Everything is love just as love is everything. Love is behind every action mankind has ever committed. Love of oneself, love of an object, love of others. It is only when one loves them-self or an object more than others that pain occurs. Love oneself, but love others just as much. Spread love.

Hair

I have sunburn on top of my head. This sucks.

Basically, I suck.

I remain a failure and not good enough. I hate my life.

?

There are times where I just don't know what to do. I call those times life.

Loony Bin

After a much needed trip to the St. Vincent's Stress Center to get my shit sorted out, I feel much better. Life isn't any easier, but I'm learning to deal with it more productively. I don't know how getting back to school will be, but that should be interesting either way. I have a lot of catching up to do on life in general. First things first, I must get back with Rachel. I feel as though we've been drifting along again and I'm not certain why. So that is my main priority. After that, who knows? But I love her and get to see her tomorrow, which will be amazing.

WOO!

The next moment we get to be together cannot come soon enough. Hot damn do I love Rachel!