Misunderstanding

There's a common misunderstanding that people understand me. They don't. They may never fully understand me. So don't think/pretend you do.

The Lovely Ms. Rachel

I am so happy to have Rachel in my life. Just being near her, I get filled with this amazing feeling. I truly love everything about her and could not ask for anything more. I am going to miss her incredibly so while I'm in Minneapolis. Even then, getting to see her tonight was a more powerful feeling than missing her. Monday will be amazing.

Mixtape

This mixtape thing is taking over my soul. I have already put together two published mixtapes (three in a bit) and have several more planned out. I'm finding myself getting more and more ambitious with each one. I want to put together a mix that is me, but at the same time others can get with. It needs to flow almost perfectly. And I like themes. Not themes like Mike and Kelly have used, but themes for life. I enjoy this, but I can see this getting in the way. I'll work on moderation. Or just hold off on releasing my mixtapes. Set up release dates. As though people will be asking for them in advance. Maybe leak them on my twitter or something. We'll see. I'm taking this too far. Haha.

Preparation

I am preparing myself for the impending apocalypse and all the doom and destruction that will bring. Think Revelations but real. If the apocalypse even happens. Who knows? Good thing I potentially have time to ponder this.

Life on reapeat

Why does life happen at the rate that it does? Why does humanity have emotions, feelings, wishes, dreams, logic, and thoughts when they can clash, crumble, or prove a hinderance? What causes one to lose control? How do people lose track of each other? What causes rifts? Why are they frequent? What's wrong with cloning? Living two lives? Complications are never really a great thing. Sure, complications allow one to show strength and provide an avenue for growth, but are they worth it? One never knows until the end.

Wishes

I wish there was some way for people to understand what goes on with me everyday. What it's like knowing that I could wake up tomorrow as a completely different person than I was today and I can't do anything about it. That I don't see and experience life in the same way. That I'm not as happy as I seem or even happy at all sometimes. What kind of battles I fight daily to live a normal life. I wish people could understand these things. If not to respect me, then to at least cut me some slack.

I still have days where I don't want to wake up. I still have times where I want nothing more than to run away from everything and start all over again. I still have times where I consider killing myself. I can't stop this. I can only deal with it as best I can.

One eskimO

One eskimO is honestly one of the best things to happen to me lately. I can't get enough of them. And the animated Adventures of One eskimO are awesome too. Bitchin.