Renewal

Tonight was amazing. I was getting ready for bed after a long day of nothing other than trying to be there for Katie and guitar. Then I realized that wasn't what I wanted to do right before climbing into bed. I needed a release, I needed something to fulfill me. So I decided I had to keep my word and climb the Jesus tower, having scoped it out and made it a goal to do so. Quickly and silently changing, I ventured back out to do this. However, the underpass for me to cross was a third of a mile passed the tower. I considered crossing the highway, but decided I'd just stick it out to be safe. Upon making it to the tower with no cars around, I went in only to find out that I would not be able to climb it, as it was sectioned off by levels. Damn ceilings getting in my way. Abandoning that, I ventured across the highway for that rush I was looking for. Not really having to avoid many cars, I made it across. Having done so, I noticed a man outside Diamond Club South waving fanatically at me, so I removed my headphones. This man is Alex. Alex recently was released from jail after serving eight years. Alex went to the strip club with his buddies to celebrate and was enjoying himself and the Mexican woman who looked Asian. After exclaiming how impressed he was that I crossed the highway, he asked if I was okay and moved me into the light so he could check out my eyes. After my assurance and the examination, he offered to buy me a drink or give me a ride to the hotel. I declined both politely and with much appreciation. Then he said something that will stick with me for quite some time. Alex proclaimed, "God is good, man." At this, I smiled and agreed. This was big. So we chatted a bit more and I told him to enjoy himself and time with his buddies and I was glad he was released. He seemed stunned and as appreciative as one could ever be. Alex told me he hopes we see each other again. I hope so too.

The reason this occurrence holds such ground with me, is the message behind it. I have been searching and hoping to find good in society for awhile now, to no avail. I want to be able to believe in others, knowing they are good. This was my sign.

Being randomly roused out of the potential comfort of sleep to wander stuck me as strange but necessary. I followed that to the thing I thought would bring me happiness, the Jesus tower. Upon searching this out and trying to make it work, my efforts were fruitless. Seeking thrills in crossing the highway, flirting with death and disaster, were a loss. It was Alex that changed all this. I cannot seek out the good in society, rather it will find me. Here is a man who was released from jail after eight years who first made sure I was okay physically, mentally, and emotionally. A stranger with a crime record! I now believe that good people sometimes do bad things, not the opposite.

It was so much more than that though. I went searching for Jesus. I have been looking and forcing the issue for years. I went searching and came up lame. I have tried worldly goods to find them momentarily fulfilling, but nothing to build on. However, by happenstance, I was found trying these means unsuccessfully and brought to true happiness. That Alex said, "God is good," is no coincidence. This was my first conversation with God. Tonight was my awakening. I was lost and have been found. Thank you.