Goodbye

I was telling myself over and over to not bother to write about what happened last night with Rachel, to act like it wasn't worth my time, but I can't. I still love her. I need to vent.

Last night, Rachel broke our streak of silence with the infamous, "You're not getting your knife back," response. I saw that coming, but didn't expect to actually hear from her considering how little we talk anymore. She doesn't really want to talk to me and I was giving her space. So then it created a string of back and forth texts that got relatively nasty, mainly on my side. I'm tired of not being trusted by her with my knife. It's very frustrating. But in my frustration, I said many things that I had been thinking, but never vocalized towards her about the way she's been acting of late. Evidently though, this is the real her. Granted, I'm not the only one that has noticed this change in behaviour. So I don't know what to make of it, but I'm sick of getting hurt. That being the case, I a couple words that I knew would get her pissed so that we wouldn't talk anymore. To stop talking isn't what I want with Rachel, but, judging by her newest blog, it is most certainly what's best for her. And that's all I could ever want. I want her to be free from the tyranny that is me and enjoy her life. Now I just need to stop crying. There's no point to it.