Lost It

Just another typical night...

Saved message: 
Hey, what's up...Uh, I just lost it, at the end of the day I fucking lost it, i just blew up. my whole entire fucking apartment building, i told everyone to go fuck themselves. I just had a hard time today and uh, i don't know...

Calm down 
Deep breaths 
And get yourself dressed instead 
Of running around 
And pulling all your threads saying 
Breaking yourself up 

If it's a broken part, replace it 
But, if it's a broken heart then brace it 
If it's a broken heart then face it 

And hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your own name 
And go your own way 

And everything will be fine 
Everything will be fine 
mmmhmm 

Hang on 
Help is on the way 
Stay strong 
I'm doing everything 

Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 

And everything, everything will be fine 
Everything 

Are the details in the fabric 
Are the things that make you panic 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? 

Are the things that make you blow 
Hell, no reason, go on and scream 
If you're shocked it's just the fault 
Of faulty manufacturing. 

Yeah everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Everything 

Hold your own 
And know your name 
And go your own way 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name) 
Are the things that make you panic 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way) 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name) 
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way) 
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? 

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name) 
Hell no reason go on and scream 
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way) 
Of faulty manufacturing 

Everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Hearts will hold 

New message: 
Yo what's up man? I uh, I don't know i just wanted to say that uh, everything's cool with me now, I mean i just think, I think I'll always be funky, can't stop being funky, but I guess we just deal with it how it comes, deal with the humps, take the jumps, I feel like you're an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea. And I love you buddy. Okay. Bye.

After spending the better part of the night crying uncontrollably, I'm starting to get right. I thought this was over. I've been contemplating suicide again. I looked at myself in the mirror and lost it. I lied. The crying is not over. I need to do something.